22 Comments
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Julie Verfurth - Awake Woman's avatar

I always love the sprinkling in of song references. I get such a glow when I recognize them (not all - I wasn't that completely cool) like I've reinforced my place in the secret GenX club. Fantasy much, Julie? Love your writing - going back and forth between who we were and who we are now seems to imply in equal measures that both nothing and everything has changed. The weirdness of life.

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

Thanks, Julie!!! I always love your takeaways and appreciate you getting so much of what I’m also coming to understand through writing these things. You are the coolest šŸ¤˜šŸ–¤šŸ’‹

Julie Verfurth - Awake Woman's avatar

Pleased as punch over here to hear it! And blushing too. Shucks.

Sarah C's avatar

As a fellow SoCal Gen-Xer, I was right there with you the whole time reading this. Love this.

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

Great to have another SoCal Gen-Xer in the house! Thanks for reading... xx

Nicole Crowe's avatar

Made me cry, and brought back so many good memories of my time with my college bestie. We were headed into Austin when we heard about 101x Fest that was happening that night. Of course we had to go. Got to see Blind Melon and Smashing Pumpkins. My friend and I drifted apart as our lives took very different directions, but talking about those few years together - man, we lived a lot of life. It sounds like you and April did, too.

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

Oh! And Blind Melon and Smashing Pumpkins must have been amazing...what year was that? I saw Blind Melon while working for their record label so was especially devastated when Shannon Hoon died :(

Nicole Crowe's avatar

1994, I was 21 - perfect timing! My own children got their ā€œdon’t do drugsā€ education through playing Rock Trivia in the car. Anytime someone like Blind Melon came on, or any of the other too many artists we lost, I would Rock Trivia them, then go on to say, ā€œLead singer - dead or aliveā€ ā€œDeadā€ ā€œWhy?ā€ ā€œDrugsā€ ā€œYep, don’t do drugs.ā€

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

We did a version of that with our son too šŸ˜¬šŸ˜‚šŸ„ŗ

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

I'm so glad it took you back and brought up some good memories, Nicole. Thanks for sharing about you and your friend, too... xx

Mark Rabenstein's avatar

This is so beautifully written. It brings back great memories. That trip to Yosemite was pivotal in my life, and so was April, and her passing. She looks so young in your dorm room! Thank you for writing this.

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

Thanks for also keeping her memory alive. That Yosemite trip really did have a lasting impact on us all, and I'm so thankful to Hillel for making it happen. xx

Michelle Montano's avatar

I wish I could share the other pictures I have from that Yosemite trip. I was really hit when you talked about hearing April's voice less and less as time went on. When I close my eyes, I can still hear the way she would repeat my high school nick name, with a different emphasis on each syllable - MI-shelly, mi-SHEL-ly, mi-shel-LY

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

I can hear her voice again now, clear as if it was yesterday! I think life just took over for a while. And please send me more photos from that trip -- I haven't been able to find any aside from the few that you, Mark, or Hillel have shared through the years.

Lori Dundas's avatar

Alexa, stop making me cry at work! You had me right from the beginning (where I was humming ā€œwe were only FRESH-menā€¦ā€) and I was stiff with dread as you described April in past tense (ā€œshe was quite possibly the most genuine personā€¦ā€). I’m so, so sorry. I really enjoyed getting to know your friend through your eyes. This was beautiful šŸ’– thank you so much for sharing

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

Aw, thanks Lori...I'm so happy to be able to share a bit of her with others. She really left an impact in the short time she was here. xx

Cynthia Farrell's avatar

Alexa, thank you for sharing this beautiful piece that is both memoir and tribute to your friend. I could feel the joy is your remembered experiences. You truly showed us who April was, and also gave us some funny and beautiful insight into who you are. What a lovely read.

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

Thank you so much for reading and for the love, Cynthia ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø

Laurie Flynn's avatar

Alexa…this post! First and most importantly, I am so sorry for your loss. But what a tribute to April, to your friendship and to the lasting impact it had on your life. There’s something about losing a friend when you are that young that hits different. Maybe it’s because we are supposed to feel invincible at that age, and being forced to face up to the reality that getting older is a privilege and not a promise is almost impossible to process. The lucky ones find a way to carry that person and that relationship forward, and you’ve found a way to do just that. Beautifully.XO

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

Thank you so much for reading, Laurie ā¤ļø It really was an intense thing to go through for everyone who knew and loved her—I take comfort in all the ways we’ve kept her memory alive. She was just pure magic ✨

carolyn brann's avatar

except the poems šŸ˜‚

Alexa Joy Sherman Young's avatar

ā€œYour poems, however, need workā€ šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚